It is time now!!
- Thread starter InkaRoads
- Start date
Mentiras y Traición
Sonoran Goddess
Don't worry, Ink, in my line of work they call Kenny's post "evidence.":lol:
Wood Spinner
Guest
Hey beachgirl
All is not as it appears. Our business is on the rocks and looks like it is going to fold.
Fortunately we have the 5th wheel paid for. When we go to Pinetop in the Summer and PP in the Winter we only stay for a few days and Edna has to get back to work to help handle all of the problems. Our Son who is supposed to be running the Landscape and Landscape Maintenance part of the business is a complete failure. He is on drugs and does not run his part of the business thus that is taking it all down the tubes.
Like I said it is not all that it appears. But if it goes bankrupt we will be fully retired.
All is not as it appears. Our business is on the rocks and looks like it is going to fold.
Fortunately we have the 5th wheel paid for. When we go to Pinetop in the Summer and PP in the Winter we only stay for a few days and Edna has to get back to work to help handle all of the problems. Our Son who is supposed to be running the Landscape and Landscape Maintenance part of the business is a complete failure. He is on drugs and does not run his part of the business thus that is taking it all down the tubes.
Like I said it is not all that it appears. But if it goes bankrupt we will be fully retired.
playaperro
El Pirata
I hear you Bill, nothing worst than being an addicts addict. Here in tucson
their is a place where you can seek help 24/7. SAMAC will here you out and help you and your family.
Vaya con Dios..
Playa
Seadweller
chum
Bill... I don't know if I should wish you good luck (with retirement) or offer my condolences (on the bankruptcy)
Mentiras y Traición
Sonoran Goddess
Bill, you are not alone on the drug problem. So many more people than you know experience this with those they love. It is a heartbreaker of gigantic proportions. My compassion and understanding to you and your wife. Lo siento, amigo!
jerry
Guest
Bill you need to see the big picture,The real estate agents/mortgage peddlers,appraisers and the big homebuilders ran a criminal conspiracy that flattened way smarter,better financed subs than you ,your son or me.We would run into big contractors with huge overhead telling us we were fools not to hire illegals. Those guys are now gone and things seem to be picking up a bit for us survivors. Hang in there!
The Lord only helps those willing to help themselves - I feel your pain, Bill. My wife and I watched our daughter spiral down the meth-addicted path for several years. Nothing we said or did made any difference. Everytime we thought she hit absolute bottom, there seemed to be an even deeper, newer low. We eventually took guardianship of her son at three years old and fully expected that we would receive a phone call at some point in the middle of the night from the police informing us she was dead. She eventually ended up in jail for close to a year.
That seemed to be the bottom. Since getting out of jail, she put her faith in god, lived with us for two years and became reacquainted with her son, got a job, bought a car, and just recently moved out into an apartment of her own with her son. She's been completely sober for more than two years now. No backsliding and she is looking towards the future. All very good things.
The bottom line is - an addict has to want to change their lives. Nothing you can say or do will change that. Most meth addicts will tell you there are only two ways out: 1. You quit, or 2. You die. It sounds like your son hasn't hit the bottom yet and I hope for both you and Edna that when he does hit it, it's in way that doesn't kill him.
That seemed to be the bottom. Since getting out of jail, she put her faith in god, lived with us for two years and became reacquainted with her son, got a job, bought a car, and just recently moved out into an apartment of her own with her son. She's been completely sober for more than two years now. No backsliding and she is looking towards the future. All very good things.
The bottom line is - an addict has to want to change their lives. Nothing you can say or do will change that. Most meth addicts will tell you there are only two ways out: 1. You quit, or 2. You die. It sounds like your son hasn't hit the bottom yet and I hope for both you and Edna that when he does hit it, it's in way that doesn't kill him.
B
bahiatrader
Guest
A lot of people feel your pain. I lost a really good friend to meth, and another friend's son. We had a meth related murder in our family. I don't think anyone has come up with a viable answer to the problem. You win some, you lose some. Maybe it's part of our evolution as a species.
Wood Spinner
Guest
Thanks all We have been doing this for over 10 years no. In and out of rehabs, long periods of sober and back again. At one of his long term sobers he was even talking to youth groups for AAA. Don't think bad of us but we have given up.
NOBODY that has been through this will think bad of you in any way, shape, or form. Giving up is both common sense and a defense mechanism. You can can only take so much pain and heartbreak. It becomes debilitating after such a long period of time. You have to throw in the towel and say to hell with you, we're done and refuse to let you hurt us any longer. It's what we finally had to do.
Mentiras y Traición
Sonoran Goddess
See, Bill, we understand and we are here for you. The worst part is feeling like your alone in all this...no fricking way!
InkaRoads
cronopiador
And hopefully by you giving up , he will realized that his support system is gone and hit bottom sooner, most of the time is what it takes. As a father is hard to see it happen but is the best you can do, then when you pick up the pieces and put them back together, he will hopefully will be strong enough to stay away for good!!!
Good luck and be stronger than it!
Good luck and be stronger than it!
I believe it's called, being in a state of co-dependency with the addict you love so much. I can't begin to say that I know how it feels since we have not been unfortunate enough to be in that position. I do try to empathize with you however, but also feel that you should make the most out of the rest of your lives while you can.:sunny::fish:
jerry
Guest
I agree he might be able to turn it around if he sees the safety net is gone ,but the fact is the economy made it tough to make a buck even if you weren't high.
He, he gets back to a ten year old pickup,a dog,a sidekick,a rented room and works under the table the pressure is off and he might surface from the meth.Freud beat his drug habit by just doing so much of it he became bored with drugs(he used coke to get off heroin) after a while. The problem is not going broke until you reach that point.
He, he gets back to a ten year old pickup,a dog,a sidekick,a rented room and works under the table the pressure is off and he might surface from the meth.Freud beat his drug habit by just doing so much of it he became bored with drugs(he used coke to get off heroin) after a while. The problem is not going broke until you reach that point.
Kenny
Guest
God grant me the serenity
Bill, I've been around recovery program's since 1969, that's when my father was allowed to be a part of the first federally funded program for alcoholics. It was at Camarillo State Mental Hospital in Cali.. They had a program for addicts as well. I'm a alcoholic, and addict. Alcohol is a drug, and that's my drug of choice. I'm chemically dependent, a addict.. I haven't had my drug ( alcohol) for over 10 straight years now, but there was a time when I had 12. The period in between those years is called a relapse, but it's not, it's hell.
The first time I quite, it was a 30 day program back in 83. I had stopped for my wife and kid's, and I stopped for my father who had relapsed in 77, and then made his way back to Phoenix. He hung himself in a cheap Motel down on Van Buren. I didn't know about his two Silvers and a Bronze until after. A lot of the men who came home from the war were like that. I did know that a very brave, intelligent and compassionate man was gone and thought if maybe I'd stayed in Cali, instead of going to Washington St when he started to drink again, I could have?
Anyway..I'm sitting in my house down in Phoenix with a nice boat in the garage, 2 cat's, and a dog, bla bla bla, but my wife was gone, and so were the kids. I hadn't had a drink in 12 years and I said, F it, then got up and went to the liquor store and straight to hell, then back.
I didn't stop drinking the first time for myself, I'd stopped for other people and when they were gone... This time it was for me, there was no one else left, no one to call. I finally asked for help and thank God it was there, I was ready. I'd made my way to Albuquerque and it was bad.
I haven't been to a meeting in a long time. I've been to plenty though, both AAA, and NA, remember, I'm a addict too, chemically dependent. I do 12 step work. I try to give hope and experience when I can. I try to let people know that there is hope, and that if I can do it, anyone can. Statistically, it's 1 in 10, and at my age, much worse.
If I'd stayed in California with my dad, I couldn't have saved him Bill, and trust me, knowing that to be true is a relief. Men have told me at meetings "my wife and kids don't understand how hard it is to stop, they don't support me" I say tough, if you don't do it for YOU, and do it now, don't matter, they'll be gone anyway.
No one "saved" me Bill, I had to save myself, and trust me again, I'm a tough stubborn SOB and my bottom is way down there.LOL I was lucky, I found out where to go for help, a program, and they had a spot for me. That's all I needed because I was ready. When your son is ready, all you can do is be there for him. You can't make him "ready".
I still come back to the first part of the serenity prayer, and I try to remember all the things I have to be grateful for when I find myself on the "pitty pot".
.............................................................
[FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]God grant me the serenity
[FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]to accept the things I cannot change; [/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]courage to change the things I can;[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]and wisdom to know the difference. [/FONT]
[/FONT]
Bill, I've been around recovery program's since 1969, that's when my father was allowed to be a part of the first federally funded program for alcoholics. It was at Camarillo State Mental Hospital in Cali.. They had a program for addicts as well. I'm a alcoholic, and addict. Alcohol is a drug, and that's my drug of choice. I'm chemically dependent, a addict.. I haven't had my drug ( alcohol) for over 10 straight years now, but there was a time when I had 12. The period in between those years is called a relapse, but it's not, it's hell.
The first time I quite, it was a 30 day program back in 83. I had stopped for my wife and kid's, and I stopped for my father who had relapsed in 77, and then made his way back to Phoenix. He hung himself in a cheap Motel down on Van Buren. I didn't know about his two Silvers and a Bronze until after. A lot of the men who came home from the war were like that. I did know that a very brave, intelligent and compassionate man was gone and thought if maybe I'd stayed in Cali, instead of going to Washington St when he started to drink again, I could have?
Anyway..I'm sitting in my house down in Phoenix with a nice boat in the garage, 2 cat's, and a dog, bla bla bla, but my wife was gone, and so were the kids. I hadn't had a drink in 12 years and I said, F it, then got up and went to the liquor store and straight to hell, then back.
I didn't stop drinking the first time for myself, I'd stopped for other people and when they were gone... This time it was for me, there was no one else left, no one to call. I finally asked for help and thank God it was there, I was ready. I'd made my way to Albuquerque and it was bad.
I haven't been to a meeting in a long time. I've been to plenty though, both AAA, and NA, remember, I'm a addict too, chemically dependent. I do 12 step work. I try to give hope and experience when I can. I try to let people know that there is hope, and that if I can do it, anyone can. Statistically, it's 1 in 10, and at my age, much worse.
If I'd stayed in California with my dad, I couldn't have saved him Bill, and trust me, knowing that to be true is a relief. Men have told me at meetings "my wife and kids don't understand how hard it is to stop, they don't support me" I say tough, if you don't do it for YOU, and do it now, don't matter, they'll be gone anyway.
No one "saved" me Bill, I had to save myself, and trust me again, I'm a tough stubborn SOB and my bottom is way down there.LOL I was lucky, I found out where to go for help, a program, and they had a spot for me. That's all I needed because I was ready. When your son is ready, all you can do is be there for him. You can't make him "ready".
I still come back to the first part of the serenity prayer, and I try to remember all the things I have to be grateful for when I find myself on the "pitty pot".
.............................................................
[FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]God grant me the serenity
[FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]to accept the things I cannot change; [/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]courage to change the things I can;[/FONT]
[FONT=Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif]and wisdom to know the difference. [/FONT]
[/FONT]
Last edited:
Mentiras y Traición
Sonoran Goddess
God, Kenny, that post is so frickin' courageous and generous it brought tears to my eyes. And that is not easy to do. You shared a piece of your soul to help someone else. Right on, my friend!
Mentiras y Traición
Sonoran Goddess
Oh, I forgot to add "you bleeding heart liberal." LOL
Kenny
Guest
Seeeeeething with hatred :lol:
Mentiras y Traición
Sonoran Goddess
Nah, I don't seethe anymore, I just kinda do a slow boil.